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I made him promise again that he won’t do anything without my approval and that he won’t hate me or mom. He didn’t think that was possible and promised not to. Now I have to figure out where to start and how much to tell him.Before I started with the details I said, “Brad, mom and I are being blackmailed. Not for money, and no state secrets. We’re being blackmailed for sex.”He looked at me like I had two heads. I waited for the explosion but all I saw was concern. I thought that boded well. So I started telling him the whole story.The first part was easier. It wasn’t about me. I was violating a confidence. But I thought that it was necessary for him to understand. So I told him what I could remember of what mom had told me about her childhood and her fantasies.I smiled when I noticed that several times he got a hard on and it embarrassed him. I think it was especially embarrassing for him because he was getting a hard on thinking about mom in a sexual way and hearing about the sexual. She said nothing, simply stood quietly, allowing me to look. There is true wonder in such a moment. Some may see such a charged encounter as psychologically complex, an emotional watershed, but it can also be the simplest act of faith in the entire universe. The courage to place yourself in the arms of another.Her curiosity was more about herself, than it ever was about me.I had every reason to expect Jeanie to be cautious, shy and reserved. For a first time, at the very least, perhaps some kissing and a lot of woman-talk and giggles. At best perhaps, some gentle fondling and non-aggressive exploring. In deference to her, I had firmly resolved to keep the mood light and amusing, indulging her curiosity and providing whatever she needed for her comfort, and sense of safety.That, at least, was my avowed intention, but Jeanie had her own ideas. She quickly tore up my conservative dance card and chose instead to follow the sound of her own percussionist. It seemed her shyness had been.
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